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Did you sign up for a Jedi?

Life through stereoscopic glasses… Paint a blue-green face, sign up for the Jedi fraternity, plunge into the magical world of the planet Pandora… Here it is, happiness… Avataromania, like a tsunami, has covered the Earth’s hardness. What is happening in the world? – It’s just a movie. Archetypes, mythologies, allusions and illusions have become weapons of mass destruction. Alas, it’s just IMAX 3D technology. So far… But it’s still going to happen! James Cameron hasn’t waited in vain for 10 years, hiding the script under a green cloth in his office. Today he’s the king of the screen, with billions of subjects ready to storm cinemas.

But enough interjections and praises. “Avatar” should be pronounced with an accent on the first letter, but the audience prefers “Avatar”. The explanation is not quite simple, because in Sanskrit, where the word came from, avatar (avatar) means “descent, incarnation” in relation to the Indian deity Vishnu. The role of the representative of the Supreme deity is assigned in the film to Corporal Jake Sally, a military invalid, who upon arrival in Pandora crossed over to the side of humanoids living in the local forests, who adapted to fly on pterodactyls.

But what does that have to do with Jedi? The Order of the Jedi appeared in the Universe long before man, about 25 thousand years ago, and not for nothing, but to protect peace and justice. Star Knights, in the arsenal of which were in the presence of telekinesis, levitation, inhuman reaction, hypersensitivity and completely monstrous power, enclosed in “lightsabers”, fought with their eternal enemies, Sith, “black knights”.

In general, a typical battle of Good with Evil, only on the scale of the universe. The plot, I hope you still remember… It was in 2154. It was the far future. The bad guys from planet Earth are landing on the local moon in the Alpha Centauri constellation in search of the Unobtainium mineral. The natives are clearly not happy with the plans of the Wild West aliens. Well, just like Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan and so on. Anyway, it’s a typical American imperialist situation. Infiltrator Jake, under the guise of an avatar virus, has been tasked with infiltrating the natives’ Wednesday to fool them before embarking on a final solution to a local humanitarian problem. In the jungle, he meets the beautiful three-meter Neytiri, at the very moment when the chief’s daughter saves his life and the cowboy, in turn, as an outcast gentleman, is fond of her…

But then everything goes wrong: genetic engineering fails, and Jake, after a failed conversation with his superiors, gets on the “lip”, but he manages to escape and, moreover, to organize resistance to the occupiers, in order to discourage them from hunting for the predatory robbery of small nations.

The traditional happy ending, however, does not keep itself waiting. The good wins and the surviving earthlings are sent up, taking from them the word that they are here, on Pandora, not another foot. To the applause of the hall, our heroic corporal breaks away from his historic homeland. Money for an expensive operation of his lower limbs is no longer needed, and he stays with the local savages, animals and flowers, calling on fellow countrymen that they would not mind to deal with the issues of ecology and global warming on their disgusting, dirty and for some reason called the “blue” planet.

The American film industry has undoubtedly taken a giant step forward. The advent of Avatar has opened up unprecedented opportunities for U.S. Air Force, Navy and Army engineers to create holographic images and use them in real theater combat operations. Synthesis of high-resolution cameras with heavy-duty computers allows today to create mirages not worse than in the Sahara desert. Secret developments in holography on the battlefield have long since ceased to be a secret. Just imagine: virtual shahids, who went to the other world and were comforted there with 70 virgins, broadcast from heaven, for dozens of miles around: “Terrorist fighters, you are surrounded, there is no chance… Your future actions are a waste of time and effort. We offer your elders and the others dry clothes, hot tea and our Middle Eastern hospitality!” The trusting Taliban are losing their motivation to resist and they’re giving up on the American military…

But this one needs to be more careful. They say, once in Somalia, the Marines during the sandstorm witnessed an unusual phenomenon: in the sky like a flag over the Capitol there was the face of Jesus weighing one hundred thousand pixels. One amateur photographer is reported to have even managed to capture the appearance of Christ to the people, but then the photo went on hand and was naturally lost in the depths of secret services. But it was as if the Somalis had seen… Do you believe it? I believe it immediately and irrevocably. But the main thing! – harsh sea men were baptized and cried like children… They could be taken at that moment with their bare hands. Here it is, the magic power of art…

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