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Oh!..

Once upon a time there was a little girl. Not alone, of course, – it’s easy to say, – but with family: Mom-dad, grandparents, dog Tuzik, cat Murka, rabbit Vasya, fish in the aquarium … It’s not that, though, but the fact that the girl was extraordinary. She was collecting her “oh…” That is, she wrote down in her notebook, as the educated girl is supposed to, every “oops”. And so many “oops” have accumulated…
Probably would have been enough for the Guinness Book of World Records, but she didn’t know anything about Guinness (about the book and beer too), because she was small, as we said.
“When did it start?” – you ask. And as soon as she was born. “Oh…” – she said, barely opening her eyes. She was either surprised or frightened. Even then, when the girl grew up a little and learned to read and write, she realized that she was scared.
“Oh!” she screamed, first time she saw a crocodile in the book… “Ow!” she screamed again when in the darkness she hit the door and put a bump on her forehead.
But then one night, a strong storm came… Lightnings burst out every second and the sky split into a thousand small parts. The thunder rumbled so deafeningly that it was impossible to watch TV and hear what the characters of the film were saying. The girl, of course, was scared at every lightning and every rumble of thunder, but she carefully put everything in her notebook: “Oh…oh…oh…” and another “oh…”. So she carefully counted all the “oops” in the morning, and there was a thousand million. That’s how many! And in just one night.
She must have been lucky. Well, how lucky you are when you find a coin on the sidewalk – if you live in town, of course – which nobody noticed but you: everyone passes by, and you’re lucky. We warned you that the girl was extraordinary. Needless to say, her name was Oops. For real. That’s what they said on the birth certificate: “Oh”, last name… that, uh, common last name, anyway. It doesn’t matter what it is.
When the girl grew tall and went to first grade, the teacher saw her name and said..: “Oh…” But of course, she couldn’t compete with Oh, who had a thousand million “oops” in her notebook that she said scared.
And the teacher had one “oops” in her notebook in surprise.
At school, Oi had a lot of girlfriends, but now she was much less scared than before, and it scared her because she couldn’t say “oh”. Mom felt something was wrong with the girl and said she had to go to the doctor. But kids, as you know, don’t really like doctors. The doctor says, “Say, “Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah,” and then he puts a stick like an Eskimo in your mouth. And this, you have to admit, is unpleasant when they pull your tongue and look at what’s hidden behind your cheek. Isn’t it?
The doctor still puts a thermometer under your armpit, prescribes bitter medication when you’re sick, but there’s nothing to love about doctors. That’s what a lot of kids, including me, think.
Mom used to be a little girl, too, and she even understood her daughter. Is that how you talk her into going to a doctor? She thought all night, thought and finally came up with an idea. The next morning, she said:
– Today we’re going to see a doctor who’ll give you a sweet candy.
The girl objected to her mother (she wasn’t quite small anymore, but she wasn’t quite big either):
– Don’t we have our own candy in the house to go to the doctor for that? Or can’t we buy creamy toasts in the shop?
Mom felt ashamed of her daughter’s words like that, but there was nowhere to back down:
– You see, he gives kids extraordinary candy. From Curaçao Island… You’ve never tasted one of these before.
Mom didn’t know almost anything about Curaçao Island, so she got caught on Google somehow, but, imagine, the Google exile worked.
– Yeah, I read it, too… Let’s go. Sure, let’s go.
The kids are so smart nowadays.
Especially the sweet tooth.
Mom was very excited about this turn of events and, until her daughter changed her mind, quickly confirmed it:
– Yeah, yeah, yeah, there’s some of the most extraordinary candy growing in the world.
Although, put your hand on your heart, say: candy grows on trees?
The doctor already knew from my mother’s words about the extraordinary girl and was ready for any surprises with small children who are sometimes capricious, and for this purpose, stocked up on candy from the nearest department store.
– Well, honey, what’s the pain? Have you measured the temperature?
He put the girl in the chair and gently hit her knee with a rubber hammer, which is exclusively doctors’, no one else.
– Oh…
– Well, the reaction’s great… Here’s a candy for that, honey. Here you go.
After that, the doctor pulled Mom aside, put his hands in a white coat and said:
– Science is powerless here, madam. The girl’s practically healthy… She’ll live and go to school for sure.
He liked to joke, because he wrote home the magazine “Health” and knew by heart all medical jokes about patients. Doctors S. all mothers of the city considered the best doctor for unidentified childhood diseases and made an appointment to see him in advance and in advance, just in case.
That’s the kind of fame that went around about him.
But he took an extraordinary girl without waiting in line, which caused great dissatisfaction of other moms, who also had exceptionally gifted children.
– Mom, why is the candy called “Bear in the North”? – asked the girl when they left the doctor’s office and turned the fantasy. – You said you were from Curaçao.
– That’s because, my daughter, wherever and whenever candy is made now. Not like when I was a little girl like you, and I was happy with even a piece of sugar. Probably mastered Bears in the jungle, too. The international cooperation, it’s called… And she said..: “Oh…” – because I was afraid of my own words – suddenly there’s something wrong with international cooperation – and I imagined the northern white bears walking around the island of Curacao, which is a cosy place off the coast of South America.

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