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When I’m A Ghost I’ll Live Here

A sad story of a family that takes a trip to their summer cabin. 



I know I’m going to die. Mother dislikes me to say so, but I know it’s true. I feel it in my bones. I know that this will be my last summer, so I am happy to be going to the cabin. I always loved coming here with Sara and mother and father. The best year was when we had our dog, Froggy, come with us. He would roll around in the mud and sand by the water and then shake all around and it would get everywhere and mother would get so mad. But it wasn’t a scary mad, it was more funny. Oh, but he died that autumn because he got out and got ran over by a car. It was really sad and Sara was real upset about it so I drew her a picture of Froggy and told her to look at it and pretend he was there. 

I also like going to the cabin because I get to stare out of the car window the whole way. The trees go by really fast and sometimes I pretend there is a dog or rabbit following the car next to us, running past all the signs and jumping over the fences we pass. I especially love when it rains while we’re driving because then father puts on music so he doesn’t fall asleep to the rain while he’s driving. But the music always makes me sleepy so I never got why he does it. Mother and father would also always put on a song they both like, that they listened to back when they are both kids and they would sing and laugh. But this year they didn’t play it. I think they also know that this will be my last ride to the cabin. I know they don’t like to say it but I think they know too. 

Every time we park the car right in front of the cabin, I like to collect my things properly and take in my own stuff. I always stare up at the place first and look in the windows. I don’t know why, but I always think I’m going to catch someone there. I never told anyone that before. Mother this year is mad that it’s raining and she even swore as she got out of the car. Sara and I run inside and climb the stairs up to the loft and we pick our beds and whoever gets there first gets to keep that bed for that trip. Sara is old enough now that she can almost beat me up there, but I always win. She never makes a fuss though, she always likes the bed she ends up with. I help Sara bring her stuff up and I make sure to put all her toys in their place. Mr. Bear goes on the bed; because that’s the one she likes to sleep with mostly. The dollies go in the basket and at the foot of the bed, so that they don’t get lost and scattered because Sara sometimes leaves a mess. The cars and blocks stay in the corner always.

Throughout the years I’ve been taking some of my old toys and leaving them at the cabin in this old trunk, and I do it because I want Sara to have some back up toys there when I’m gone, just in case she forgets to bring something. I don’t really mind because I usually outgrow the stuff anyways. After we all drag our bags in, mother and father usually make dinner and Sara plays with her toys upstairs, and I like to play by the water. I like to pretend I’m on a deserted island somewhere and I have to craft stuff to survive. So I’ll make a little shelter out of leaves by the trees, and I’ll make these mud pies. This year I’m collecting some shells by the water too. I don’t know what I’ll use them for yet. I like to play for a while. Mother usually calls me in for dinner around now. 


At dinner I told Sara, “Sara, I found some shells out by the water. You can have them. I don’t know what you can use them for but maybe you’ll know.” Mother and Father were sort of quiet but they kept asking Sara and I what we wanted to do this summer, like if we want to go tubing, or walking, or what. I told them I didn’t mind doing anything, because I knew it was my last summer at the cabin. Mother got real mad and she slammed her hands on the table and told me to never talk like that again. Father didn’t say anything he just pulled his chair out and took mother into the kitchen. I didn’t mean to upset her, but I knew that I was dying, so I don’t know what was so wrong! I guess it is sad for them, but I’m not sad, and if I’m not sad well then neither should they be! We left our food on the table and didn’t clean up like usual, because father said he would just clean up in the morning. He told me and Sara to go up to the loft and get some rest. 

I helped Sara get her nightgown on and I helped her brush her hair and I tied her bow in it. I told her she’s gonna need to learn how to do it herself because I won’t be able to help her do it next year. She nodded and I think she really listened to me. We weren’t tired because father had us lay down so early, so we laid real close to each other and whispered. And I told Sara how when I’m a ghost, I’ll live right here in this cabin, and every time they come to stay in the summers I’ll be floating around in here and I’ll watch everything. I then told her about the toy trunk in the loft and that she should be aware of it, but still try hard not to forget anything, because it’s for emergencies only! She nodded again and I think I really told her good. 


It’s finally summer again. It’s raining, which I like. I watched the car pull up to the driveway and I got real excited. I get to see Sara and mother and father again. Mother looks really pretty and she gets a little happier every year, more than the last. I’m glad of this because she’s better when she’s happier. She even doesn’t seem to mind the rain coming down. Father looks just the same as last year, but this time he has a new shirt. I’ve never seen this shirt before. Sara got real tall, especially this year. She’s just about as tall as me! Sara’s got this necklace on too, looks like a string through some shells. I think she made it from those shells I got, so I’m glad she made some use of them. Its funny because Sara always looks up into the window, and I always wave to her but I know she doesn’t see me. When they come inside I rush down the stairs from the loft and I go into the main room and I just look at them and watch them and it makes me happy. I like to hear what they talk about and what’s been happening. I laugh with them you know, when they say something funny, even though they can’t hear me. When it’s around dinner time sometimes I’ll walk by the water and check on my leaf fort, and its still there you know! I just walk around until its dinner time. This year Sara and mother and father ate out on the deck, once the sky cleared up a little. I watched them from the loft and I smiled and laughed with them. I think next summer they should come with a new dog, and they can name him Dexter, but I’ll just call him Froggy.

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