The snow was falling outside my window. It’s been awhile since I’ve had a peaceful night watching the snow fall gently on my window seal. I see the car lights cutting through the snowy wind that dances in the street, I can also see the people trying to avoid the same sticky wind with they’re umbrellas. In my home warm and cozy I feel nothing but a calm euphoria. But even though the night is calming – I wait for you to bring in the cold air with you. I wait for you to interrupt my calm euphoria and change this calmness into something like snow. Light and gun to play in, something to love and see. Something that brings complete happiness. Obviously time ticks by and the night sky is blanketed with a sheet of grey. As the small crack in the window swirls the smells of Christmas; the smell of chestnuts & pine, baking apple pie & sweets. Glancing over at my tree standing tall inside my cozy home. Even with the main lights off, my Christmas tree lights – lighted the same way Rudolph’s nose did on that Christmas night, blinking its way to victory. As the colors bounce off the dark walls I shuffle my way into the kitchen.
As dinner heat’s and bubbles waiting for you to come home hungry ready to eat something made with love. A snack for me must be made. A box of cookies to start, well that’s never a bad choice. Now for a mug of something warm, not coffee – that’ll just keep me up another 5 hours, Not tea well that’s not made with enough Christmas cheer. Hot CoCo… Hot CoCo is full of Christmas cheer. So almond milk in the kettle, couple minutes pass and the kettle whistles and sing’s its little song that the almond milk has finished boiling. A nice amount of fudge into the cup, pouring the steamy milk into the mug, mixing it up together. A little marshmallow’s , one whipped cream and a stick of peppermint and a beauty has been completed. Glancing over at the clock , it read’s 10: 50 Pm. The outside world is covered in a blanket of white. You are supposed to come up that elevator like any other day but this time kicking off some snow from your work boots & shaking out the individual snowflakes that decided to stay with you. In 10 minutes all of this is supposed to be happening. As dinner now waits for you … 10:55 Pm, Did I forget to mention to you that I have a secret for you? Something that I’ve been dying to tell you for a couple of weeks now ? As I sip my Hot CoCo, I slowly shuffle my feet back to the window to watch the snow get tucked into a cold blanket. 11:00 Pm.
Music playing in background , comfortably on the couch reading a book. 11:02 the music is a little too loud for me to realize that there’s noise coming from the door. Stomp… Stomp…Stomp – Shake… Shake… Shake … from behind me I expect to feel cold air begin to hold me but instead arms come from behind me and hold me close. Warmth takes over my body, the smell of apples and cashmere take over the smell of pie’s & chestnuts. I feel only happiness. In the background ‘ Help Me Make It Through The Night’ plays . Kissing you home while still surrounded in each other’s air … Pulling you around the couch & climbing into your lap, smiling I say “ I have something to tell you okay. Don’t say anything until I’m done.” You simply shake your head and move my hair from my face & cup my cheek. Placing my hands in your hair I say” I’ve been wanting to tell you this to you since the day you decided to make my dreams come true. Since you decided that I was worth the fight & decided that you were worthy of my love. Didn’t take me for granted and stood by me even when thing’s got tough. Since you’ve decided that having a key to my apartment was a priority and that I was a your top priority. Since no fight could make you look at me different. But mostly for accepting me for all my faults and cracks and reminding me that I am nothing but beauty in your eyes. Thank you for believing in my dreams & not judging me for my want of a fairytale romance, actually thank you for making my fairytale romance a reality. Everyday you remind me that I’m important and beautiful but mostly how lucky you are to have me, when in reality I’m extremely lucky to have you in my life. Even after dealing with the wall that I sat behind for protection. Instead of trying to break it down with a sludge hammer & giving up when things got a little more difficult when force didn’t work. But instead laying flowers around the wall and sitting and waiting patiently. I want to thank you & let you know I appreciate everything you’ve done for me and appreciate you just being you. Making me smile when I cry & when the tears do break through , you put me in your lap and hold me and tell me it’s going to be okay… But mostly letting my vent and get my anger out and always letting me come back to you when all the anger has come out. Since you have the key to my apartment, I’ve always wanted to say this to you and I think now is the perfect time.
Welcome Home, I Love You.”
Looking back at me – you wiped away my tears. Looked me in the eyes & said
“I Miss Being Home, I will always be In Love with you. The kind of in love where I would stand out side your window blaring a boom-box if you were mad at me. The in love where dancing around the living room to Disney music & dancing to country & Mr. Bublé … All just to see you smile. All I want to do is love you and give you peace of mind. You were happy before me but I want to make you 300 times happier than that when you’re with me.
I Love You. You’re my Person.“
Continuing to wipe away my tears, you pulled me in close to kiss me and hold me close. To me… To you … To Us… that moment stood still.