Does love exist? If there is a thing called love can I please feel love? Can I please be loved like the movie? I am one of those guys who has a lot of problems. I got cheated on in all of my relationships but one. I can’t get over three of the relationship. I fell in love with the girl in the three relationships I can’t get over. I have been depressed ever since the first relationship I can’t get over. I was about 15 when that happened. The relationship that I did not get cheated on. I really fucked that one up. I mocked her really bad. She ended the relationship and I knew it was the end. We both fell in love with each other. Because after she told me the relationship was over she fell into depression. At least that what I was told. She’d always talked to me about a lot of stuff and I enjoyed it. I was told recently she has been cutting herself because of me. I can’t say that is the wrong choice because I do the same. But I never wanted that for someone whom loved me. I can’t even say sorry. If you are reading this I am sorry and would love to talk again. I sit here thinking about one girl who cheated on me and I still talk to her. I talk to her because when we see each other we understand each other. I can’t get over the feeling high with her when we meet. The other one I can’t get over was my secound relationship. She was the first one that I found out that cheated on me. I loved her so much. I was going to give up my religion and my v card to her. She’s the photo of this story. She broke up with me out of the blue. Then was I went out with a friend of mine. Whom I was close to and knew I was trying to go back out with her. So it feels like every time I am in love or in a relationship it does not last long. I always use to hold all of my feelings in. I can’t do it anymore or something will happen. I brought up earlier that cut myself. I do it every once in a while. It feels good. I love to feel the high. My dad talked about me going to a place where it might help. I told him no but not I kind of regret. It might have helped. I want to try dugs because I then can feel that high I want. But I know if I try it then I am going to get addicted. “Drunk me” by Mitchell Tenpenny or “Break up in a small town” by Sam Hunt are great song that talks about a struggle. It kind of feels like it was for me. Even though the artist probably made it because he went through the same thing or is still going through. You know if any of my ex’s except one came to my house I would hug them for at least an hour. I don’t understand how to get over them or how people do get over people. I listen to these motivational thing and they do nothing for me. I keep getting told get over man. I can’t. I just can’t. Idk why. Maybe I am still in love with them. I hope not. That I hope that my heart can find someone else. I hope this helps someone. It helped me to write and publish. I wrote this because I was feeling anxious and my friends who I normally talk to could not talk to me. Hope you enjoyed.